When you're gone
by Clary Chase
Summary: "Please, Aphrodite, if love means anything, let him be okay": Annabeth's thoughts on a certain someone when he goes missing from Camp


**Hello, everyone! This is song-fic based on "When you're gone" by Avril Lavigne**

**These are supposed to be Annabeth's thoughts during the months Percy was missing.**

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**_I ALWAYS NEEDED TIME ON MY OWN_**

I'm a daughter of Athena, not a daughter of Aphrodite, so I don't exactly go around and hug everyone.

I actually prefer to be on my own with my architecture book. There are a few people I enjoy staying with.

Most of them left me, Luke... Thalia... He was one of those. And he left me as well.

**_I NEVER THOUGHT I'D NEED YOU THERE WHEN I CRY_**

Only now that he's not beside me I feel the need of his arms around me when I'm weak.

He was there to hold me under the mermaid's bay. He was there to hold my hand when we were on Charon's boat or when we fell in the Labyrinth for the first time. He was there, ready to catch me when, at the end of the war, my knees buckled and I fell into his arms.

Now I cry a lot, but he's not here to hold me.

**_AND THE DAYS FEEL LIKE YEARS WHEN I'M ALONE_**

_Three days, six hours and about twelve minutes._

When Piper had asked me, I was looking for him from three days. Now 105 days have passed, the Argo II is almost ready.

Time passed quickly when I was with him. Now it's almost like it's stopped.

It feels like Kronos is using his power to slow down time, extending my agony.

_**AND THE BED WHERE YOU LIE IS MADE UP ON YOUR SIDE**_

It's weird to see his covers so tidy. No, it's wrong. His bed is always a mess unless I tidy it up. It's usually a cluster of pillows and covers.

But not right now. The tidiness explaines everything. It's like Hera didn't even let him sleep. She must have taken him when he put his feet in the cabin, that night.

I wonder where he's sleeping now.

_**I'VE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BEFORE, EVERYTHING THAT I DO REMINDS ME OF YOU**_

It's excruciating to see Piper and Leo take their first steps at Camp.

Seeing their upset expressions after the attack of some _anemoi thuellai _reminded me of that little boy who managed to kill the Minotaur.

Seeing Jason, Piper and Leo with Festus, radiant for their departure felt like a punch in the guts. It reminded me of our quest .

The euphoria, the fights, the curtain that was rising on a a new friendship.

_**AND THE CLOTHES YOU LEFT, THEY LIE ON THE FLOOR**_

He has _never_ been tidy. His bed may be perfect but the rest of his cabin surely isn't. His clothes are scattered everywhere, shirts of Camp, jeans, sweatshirts.

The arpies wanted to clean everything but I threatened them with my dagger and they haven't gotten close to Cabin 3 since then.

I know it's silly, but seeing his clothes all over the room makes it look like he's still here.

Even if it's not true.

_**AND THEY SMELL JUST LIKE YOU**_

I often wear his shirts to feel less alone. They smell like him. Of ocean air. The one you can smell on a beach.

He always had it on him and his clothes are impregnated with it.

Stupid son of Poseidon.

_**WHEN YOU WALK AWAY I COUNT THE STEPS THAT YOU TAKE**_

Splitting up was always horrible e when he started to walk away from me, I uncosciounsly counted his steps. I couldn't do it this time.

He's disappeared all of a sudden.

There's no trace of his passage on the ground.

_**DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW?**_

Does he imagine how much I need him at all? I'm sure he doesn't.

He won't even remember who I am, how could he care about my feelings?

_**WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER, OUT HERE FOREVER, I KNOW WE WERE**_

Yes, we are definitely made for each other, we're like pieces of a puzzle that perfectly fit.

But after all, we're also demigods and for how absurd it may seem, this is reality, we don't live in a fairytale.

There's no 'forever', let alone a 'happily ever after'.

The destiny is cruel and the Fates enjoy playing with the threads of our lives.

_**ALL I EVER WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO KNOW, EVERYTHING I DO I GIVE MY HEART AND SOUL**_

I whish he knew. I whish he knew that I haven't lost hope, that I've never stopped looking for him.

My searches on Blackjack have been unceasing until we found out about the exchange of leaders.

Since then I've stayed at Camp, even if sometimes my hyperactivity takes me to New York where I cry in Sally's arms.

When I am in Long Island I work on the Argo II until late hours and Leo literally has to drag me away. But that ship is the only hope I have in this moment, so I put all myself in its construction.

_**I CAN HARDLY BREATH, I NEED TO FEEL YOU HERE WITH ME**_

Sometimes I feel like I can't breath. It's like living again the 18th of august, when our friends threw us in the canoe lake.

The throw had sent us straight to the bottom and for a moment i had been attacked by pure panic, I had feared I wouldn't have made it out alive.

But then I felt his arms around my waist and I realised we were in a bubble.

Now, I often feel like that, but there's no one there to make a bubble for me, to remind me how to breath.

_**WHEN YOU'RE GONE THE PIECES OF MY HEART ARE MISSING YOU**_

Athena may be my mother, but I don't share her idea of an intellectual relationship. The heart as well is part of a relationship, I think it's even the biggest part.

Now my heart is aching.

A piece is missing.

_**WHEN YOU'RE GONE THE FACE I CAME TO KNOW IS MISSING TOO**_

By now I was so used to his face that not seeing it is agonizing.

I miss his sea-green eyes where i could always lose myself into.

His raven hair that seemed like they could never be combed and stuck in every direction.

That annoying but still endearing trouble-maker smile.

I wonder if he's changed. 105 days have passed since tha last time I saw his face.

_**WHEN YOU'RE GONE THE WORDS I NEED TO HEAR TO ALWAYS GET ME THROUGH THE DAY AND MAKE IT OKAY**_

I miss all the stupid things that came out of his mouth every five minutes, his curses in ancient greek when he tripped on his own feet.

I miss his enthusiastic "You're a genius, Annabeth" or even "You're the most insufferable person I've ever met"

Without the sound of his voice, the others are just noises in the background.

_**I MISS YOU. . .**_

Please, Aphrodite, if love means anything, let him be okay.

I miss you, Seaweed Brain.

Don't forget me. . .

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**Hope you liked it! Every time I listen to this song I think of Percabeth so this came out!**

**REVIEW! :)**

**-Clary Chase**


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